Archana Parmar

How to say ‘No’ when you don’t want to say ‘Yes’

Assertiveness is an excellent leadership characteristic. In order to efficiently manage people and run a firm, business executives must be forthright, straightforward, and able to distribute duties. The capacity to be forceful in your professional life might put you on the fast road to a leadership position.

What is Assertive communication?

When you boldly convey your demands and opinions in a fair, honest, and calm manner while taking into account the needs and perspectives of others, you are engaging in assertive communication.

It is critical for anyone’s career to learn how to be assertive at work. Assertiveness aids in earning the respect of your peers and ensuring that your viewpoint is heard.

It’s a vital stress-relieving technique because it helps you to:

  • Take action to protect yourself.
  • Feel free to say “no” without feeling guilty.
  • Make your wants, needs, and opinions known.
  • Practicing self-control is essential.
  • Assess the circumstances and be assertive only when it is appropriate.

Why to be assertive?

Some people are born with the ability to assert themselves, while others do not. However, if you work on it, you can develop assertiveness.

Assertiveness lies somewhere between passive and aggressive. You might come across as submissive if you don’t speak up when you have anything to say. And if you’re adamant about your point of view, you might come out as unfriendly or, worse, a dictator.

You can express yourself without being passive or confrontational if you learn to be assertive, and you’ll have a better chance of receiving what you want.

When you’re assertive, you balance your wants and needs with the rights and needs of others.

How to be Assertive?

Use “I” statements.

Make it a habit to use phrases like “I believe…” or “I feel…”

Never use abrasive words or phrases such as “You never…” or “You always…” Your audience is irritated by these statements, and communication is halted as a result. You can be confident and assertive without alienating or excluding others by using “I” expressions.

Learn to say “no.”

 People are sometimes hesitant to say “no” to others in order to please them, even if saying “yes” causes them inconvenience. Helping others helps individuals feel good, whether it’s taking on a colleague’s extra work or watching a friend’s pet. However, you must know when your life must take precedence over assisting someone.

Simply say no if you already have a lot on your plate and are unable to take on more at this time. It’s a liberating sensation, and you may offer assistance when it’s convenient for you.

Tips on assertive communication:

  • Make sure you express your feelings to the other person.
  • Listen respectfully and empathize with the other person.
  • Respectfully receive both positive and negative feedback.
  • Speak at a volume and pace that is appropriate for a typical conversation.
  • Make a firm but not harsh tone.
  • Maintain eye contact with the other person.
  • Use “I” statements to make your points clear, such as “I want.”
  • Exaggerated words like “always” and “never” should be avoided.
  • Instead of saying, “You always give me your work,” say, “This is the third time this week you’ve delegated your work to me.”
  • Instead of saying “You’ve done a bad job again,” say “This report has information about Xyz missing.”

Be comfortable in saying ‘no’ to others, that’s how you say ‘yes’ to yourself. I’ve got your back.  Write to me at archana@archanaparmar.com

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