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assertive communication Archives - Communication and Beyond

Communication and Beyond

assertive communication

Archana Parmar

How to say ‘No’ when you don’t want to say ‘Yes’

Assertiveness is an excellent leadership characteristic. In order to efficiently manage people and run a firm, business executives must be forthright, straightforward, and able to distribute duties. The capacity to be forceful in your professional life might put you on the fast road to a leadership position. What is Assertive communication? When you boldly convey your demands and opinions in a fair, honest, and calm manner while taking into account the needs and perspectives of others, you are engaging in assertive communication. It is critical for anyone’s career to learn how to be assertive at work. Assertiveness aids in earning the respect of your peers and ensuring that your viewpoint is heard. It’s a vital stress-relieving technique because it helps you to: Take action to protect yourself. Feel free to say “no” without feeling guilty. Make your wants, needs, and opinions known. Practicing self-control is essential. Assess the circumstances and be assertive only when it is appropriate. Why to be assertive? Some people are born with the ability to assert themselves, while others do not. However, if you work on it, you can develop assertiveness. Assertiveness lies somewhere between passive and aggressive. You might come across as submissive if you don’t speak up when you have anything to say. And if you’re adamant about your point of view, you might come out as unfriendly or, worse, a dictator. You can express yourself without being passive or confrontational if you learn to be assertive, and you’ll have a better chance of receiving what you want. When you’re assertive, you balance your wants and needs with the rights and needs of others. How to be Assertive? Use “I” statements. Make it a habit to use phrases like “I believe…” or “I feel…” Never use abrasive words or phrases such as “You never…” or “You always…” Your audience is irritated by these statements, and communication is halted as a result. You can be confident and assertive without alienating or excluding others by using “I” expressions. Learn to say “no.”  People are sometimes hesitant to say “no” to others in order to please them, even if saying “yes” causes them inconvenience. Helping others helps individuals feel good, whether it’s taking on a colleague’s extra work or watching a friend’s pet. However, you must know when your life must take precedence over assisting someone. Simply say no if you already have a lot on your plate and are unable to take on more at this time. It’s a liberating sensation, and you may offer assistance when it’s convenient for you. Tips on assertive communication: Make sure you express your feelings to the other person. Listen respectfully and empathize with the other person. Respectfully receive both positive and negative feedback. Speak at a volume and pace that is appropriate for a typical conversation. Make a firm but not harsh tone. Maintain eye contact with the other person. Use “I” statements to make your points clear, such as “I want.” Exaggerated words like “always” and “never” should be avoided. Instead of saying, “You always give me your work,” say, “This is the third time this week you’ve delegated your work to me.” Instead of saying “You’ve done a bad job again,” say “This report has information about Xyz missing.” Be comfortable in saying ‘no’ to others, that’s how you say ‘yes’ to yourself. I’ve got your back.  Write to me at archana@archanaparmar.com Order your copy of my book ‘Business English and Leadership Communication’ – kindle or paperback

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Archana Parmar

Are you sabotaging your professional communication with these mistakes?

Most of us are English-medium pass-outs, yet we mumble-fumble when it comes to express ourselves in English language. Ever thought of it? Most of the non-native speakers have learnt or studied the English language as a subject and not as a life skill, this contributes to the incompetency or the lack of confidence while communicating in English language and this very lack of confidence affects not just our job performance but also our capabilities as a professional (we all are afraid of being wrong/being judged/made fun of). To a great extent it hampers our growth as an individual. Different people have different problems, to some it is just about not getting the appropriate vocabulary, some find the words stuck in their throat, others doubt their usage of the correct tense, and then there are some who unconsciously use fillers. Fillers, most commonly seen, add to the break in your speech. They serve no purpose, fillers are better labeled as empty pauses. If you use- ‘ummmm, uhhhh, well, you know, ahaa,’ frequently… you know what I mean. Most of the times, the speaker doesn’t even realize that he/she is using these fillers. These empty pauses become a habit. This habit broadcasts insecurity and stifle effective communication. Fortunately, language problems are easy to identify and fix. All you need to do is start talking consciously. Talk slow- consciously- notice in what situations you take these fillers. Whenever you are on the verge of using any filler- You take a pause. Confident speakers pause, pausing as the punctuation of speech, a period is a pause when you’re reading, so are the colons, and the commas. PS: an easy method to get rid of these empty fillers is to record yourself and listen to it. Most commonly used fillers are: ah, um, actually, literally, I mean, like, you know, only, etc. Drop me line here or shoot an email at archana@archanaparmar.com if you want to know more about the tips and tools to become a confident speaker.

Are you sabotaging your professional communication with these mistakes? Read More »